“Shoot” the gun fired. The memory triggered back and forth into my head. I thought it was the end. I thought it wouldn’t get any worse but it did…
Observing everything surrounding me, where was I? I was wearing an oxygen mask and was resting on a bed covered with blue and white. It was a dark atmosphere. The only light exposed was the monitor that had been attached to my finger to see my heart rate. I had figured it out, I was in a hospital. A nurse had entered. I saw mum in the distance, breaking into tears whilst dad comforting mum but then vanished by the people hovering over him. The curtain had suddenly opened and suddenly I had been blinded by the sunlight for a period of time. Sooner or Later I had recovered and had spotted the children racing around in Regents Park.
The nurse had approached me.”ouch” the needle had pierced into my skin. I felt brimful. The pain I was left in was excruciating. Slowly closing my eyes, I was trying to stay awake but the likelihood was low. Pain was coming from everywhere. My body was crying. The nurse was speaking to me,
“How are you?,Do you feel weaker?, Your par-“.
Without any response, I left her to think about the questions. My eyes had shut. The surgery had begun…
As time passed by my surgery had finished. I slowly moved my head to see my solder. The plaster crowded my stitches. Something wasn’t right. I felt as if I was overpowered. My parents entered.
“Are you alright, dear?”
The question responded with no answer. She repeated it again….
“Are you alright, dear?”
I felt furiated and angry. The gun was just sitting on the table. I felt as if i was going to to explode into a monster. I was tempted. I couldn’t take it anymore. At this moment my thinking became irrational, I had lost control, so I picked the gun and recklessly fired shots. Bang, Bang, Bang, Bang, Bang!
Twenty years later, In denial. What did i do?, What went wrong? All these thoughts and question racing into my head. Wishing I never killed my parents. It was my one and only beloved parent and yet i made the decision to murder them! And now, on my own, suffering in jail forever all due to the horrible surgery that went wrong. My life is a misery and now it is over!

July 6, 2015 at 11:38 am
Aditya –
You have varied the length of sentences very effectively.
In a few places you are making basic errors (e.g. not capitalising the letter “I”) which you really should not be doing. Go and review the work and see if you can see what I mean.
-RP